STORIES

She remembered watching her parents fight everytime they were under the same roof. She remembered lying in bed helpless, not knowing if her mom would survive the fight. If she went down it would be her that her father would be beating. Hearing the shattering of glass and her mother's cry everytime her father landed a blow on her mother, was heartwrenching She remembered nursing her mother's bruises and cuts. And trying her best not to break down in front of her mother.
She remembered the names she had been called: selfish pig, fat, twit, dumpling. She remembered landing a few punches to a bully and then coming home with a black eye. Trying to avoid her mother.
The only thing she couldn't remember was the last time she had laughed. She had seen the world in colors once. Now everything was black and white.
She opened her eyes and looked down. She had heard people say that your life flashed before your eyes during a life and death situation. Her life didn't flash before her. She looked at the neon sign that read "John's pizzeria", her favorite pizza place. She would never eat pizza again, would she? She faltered, could there be something to life that made it worth living? Maybe she just hadn't seen it. No, she convinced herself, she had seen everything. Pleasure, pain, suffering and shame. She couldn't change her mind now.
She looked down. The ground seemed so far. What if in the end she survived and had to go through even more pain, this time physically? The chances of her surviving were low. It was a risk she needed to take. She put the letter down, next to her feet and placed the brooch her mother had given to her on top of it, to keep it from flying away. Her mother would see it when she came to do the laundry. She squeezed her eyes shut. She took a step closer to edge. She hesitated. Maybe there was more to life. She stumbled back. Something held her back. She didn't know what it was. Maybe tomorrow she told herself. She quietly tiptoed back to her room so as to not wake her mother.
As Zahara lay on her bed sobbing, the door knob turned. She wiped her tears and sat up. Her mother walked in with the brooch and the note in her hand. Her mother sat beside Zahara on the bed and put her hand on Zahara's. Her mother put the suicide note and the brooch on the table next to the bed. "Did you know I thought about committing suicide too?" Her mother asked. "I've thought about it a lot. But I could never bring myself to do it. I'm still alive because of you! You made me want to live!" Tears streamed down her mother's cheeks. "I wanted to wake up to see your smile. But you stopped smiling. And then you stopped going out and you would never eat with me. Not even one meal. You refused pizza! You never do that! I know what you are going through" Her mother wiped a tear as she continued. " Don't do it darling. I can't stop you, I'd have to tie you up to do that! It's your life. But I beg of you. Don't take your life You're the only one that gives me a reason to live. We can fight this together, I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me. You're a fighter!
Her mother slowly pulled Zahara into her arms. Zahara rested her head on her mother bosom. She couldn't contain herself anymore. She burst into tears. They clung to each other and wept. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe life was worth living. Her mother needed her. She had to give it a try. If not for herself, for her mother.
Her mother rocked back and forth while stroking Zahara's hair. Zahara lifted her head and looked into her mother's eyes. For the first time in seven months, she smiled. And in her mother's eyes she saw something she had never seen before, hope.